Including the Light
by AllNightOperator
Summary: Remus is worried over Lily finding out and Sirius tries to help (MWPP year 7)


Including the Light  
  
Moony and Padfoot left the common room, Sirius with a last anxious glance at James. Remus was silent all the way down the flights of stairs. Sirius simply put an arm around his shoulders and offered quiet comfort.  
  
The burst of fresh air met their faces and instantly cooled off any vestiges of warmth from the castle. They walked to the lake, still eerily silent, and Sirius' arm around his shoulders. Sitting at the bank of the lake, they stared at the water's glittery surface and the night sky that was speckled with stars.  
  
"Lily knows." It was not a question or pleads. It was a statement. Sirius shook his head although he knew it could be true and felt Remus lean against his shoulder.  
  
"Possibly. But you know she won't--"  
  
"Judge me? Be afraid of me? Of what I really am--" Remus gave a horrible laugh. Sirius cut him off. He would not have Remus doubting what he was. He was a person, almost a man, who felt, and hurt, and loved, just like everyone else. Just because he turned into a wolf every full moon did not make him a monster, no matter what anybody said.  
  
"No. She wouldn't. You know that. She likes you and cares about you." He tightened his arm around his friend's shoulders and took his hand. "You don't really believe she'd...tell or anything?"  
  
"I don't know. You did, once." Sirius instantly stiffened and Remus regretted his words. A small part of him might still hurt a little bit but he had honestly forgiven Sirius. "Oh, I'm sorry Padfoot, I—"  
  
Sirius sighed. Just like Remus to apologise. "Don't be. I--" he looked out past the lake towards the Forbidden Forest,"--deserved it."  
  
"No," said Remus softly. "No. We're all right now."  
  
"But what I meant was that Lily wouldn't judge you or care. I know she wouldn't."  
  
"You're...right." But Remus couldn't ignore the rapid beating of his heart or the terrible butterflies in his stomach. He tightened his hold of Sirius' fingers, until they were entwined. "But I can't help but be worried."  
  
"Don't be. Lily won't care. And if worst comes to worst, there are memory charms," Sirius said solemnly. Remus, slightly shocked, turned to see him grinning. He relaxed against his frame.  
  
"Padfoot! You're...incorrigible!" Moony managed a smile. "James would kill you."  
  
"Maybe. Maybe not." Sirius turned his handsome head and kissed Remus' jaw, near his mouth. Remus captured his mouth into a full kiss and they sat there, kissing, until all Remus felt was Sirius and nothing else.  
  
Sirius, with his hand on Remus' back, gently pushed him down with his body onto the ground and climbed on top of him. He didn't break their entwined hands. Sirius' other hand rested on Remus' exposed neck. The worried and anxious feeling in Remus' stomach was replaced by the feeling Sirius gave him: utter bliss. Thoughts of Lily were temporarily gone from his mind.  
  
Quite a length later, they broke apart and sat up, wiping their wet lips. For a moment, Remus forgot he had been worried at all. Then, with a horrible rush, the butterflies swept in, weighing him down.  
  
Sirius looked sideways at him. Slowly, he reached up and caressed Remus' face, from his jaw line to his cheekbone to finally rest in his gentle curls. Something like sparks remained where Sirius' touched him. He felt a small relief.  
  
"Lily won't care. She won't care." Sirius' soothing words washed over the anxiety in Remus' stomach, helping ever so slightly.  
  
--  
  
Remus had always hated Astronomy Tower. His logic to it, no matter how irrational, was he should never be so high up near the moon. When he went up there, for class work, he envisioned the moon pulling at his soul until there was nothing left but the wolf. It would never happened but the tower never failed to leave him with chills.  
  
Despite his ill feelings towards to tower, he still went with Sirius to the balcony. Sirius knew he did not like venturing there and Remus could not understand why he would bring him. But he went.  
  
With Sirius' hand firmly clasped around his own, the Astronomy Tower's view was not so dreadful. Remus looked straight at the crescent moon and did not feel the fear.  
  
Sirius pushed Remus forward to the railing. He followed, placing his hands around Remus' to clasp in the front of his stomach. Remus breathed out.  
  
"See that star?" he asked, taking one of Remus' hands with his and pointing it towards a particularly bright star.  
  
"The Dog Star." He had seen it many times, in textbooks, papers and occasionally the sky. Never before had it looked so brilliant or special in the heavens, except for the fact that it was Sirius' star.  
  
"Yes." Sirius' head had rested on Remus' shoulder. He breathed in his scent, warm and spicy yet sweet with chocolate's aroma. "You the moon and I that star. No matter what the future holds, no matter what happens after Hogwarts, we will always be together, in the sky." Pause, and then quieter, "I love you." The wind brushed against Remus yet he was warmer than he had been before.  
  
Sirius being so sentimental, so romantic just melted Remus' heart. The butterflies were forgotten. It was a side of Sirius not many--if any, which Remus doubted--had seen. He braced one hand on the railing and one on Sirius' hands.  
  
"I love you too, Sirius. More than anything."  
  
--  
  
The halls were empty of students when they went to return back to Gryffindor Tower. As they walked, Remus felt his heart pound furiously in his chest and the nervous feeling in his stomach swirl around, increasing its weight. He thought he might be sick. Sirius' tightened his clasp on Remus' hand.  
  
How would Lily react? Sirius said she'd be okay with it, but if he were wrong, then what? Sirius and Lily got along much better now than before; they had spent a day in Hogsmeade both waiting for James that sealed a friendship between them. He would know and Remus didn't want to think himself of what her reaction might be.  
  
But he couldn't sneak upstairs and pretend to sleep. If he did that, Sirius would not sleep because Sirius had the uncanny way of knowing when Remus was up brooding and that meant James would stay up. Peter would not sleep either if they were all awake and then...  
  
The portrait of the Fat Lady appeared to them so fast that it seemed she had moved closer. Remus gave Sirius an anxious look and received a reassuring one back. That did not help Remus' sudden urge to keel over much. He also did not notice the blush creeping in on the Fat Lady's cheeks.  
  
"Fwooper feathers," he said confidently and, letting go of Remus' hand, opened the portrait door.  
  
Remus stepped in, dreading what he might see. Sirius followed, shutting the frame behind them. They soon spotted James and Lily. Remus wished Sirius was still holding his hand but Sirius had jammed his in his pockets, a sure sign of uncertainty.  
  
Both Head Boy and Head Girl were smiling. Lily waved slightly to them. Remus knew then that she knew. And that her smile said plainly, Lily Evans did not care if Remus Lupin was, indeed, a werewolf.  
  
the end  
  
written: 10.16.03 5:25pm  
  
typed: 10.25.03 8:59pm  
  
posted: 11.5.03 


End file.
